Learning to use/abuse power.

This post was inspired by an article written by Ellis Amdur, titled Ballet Boy. I suggest you read it before following the rest of what I write. I'm not going to pretend I know what Ellis is getting at in that article but this is what hit me.  The boy in the story gets beat up and bullied, then he eventually retaliates and finds that he is stronger than he thought he was. He then systematically hunts down and deals with each of his bullies. This didn't sit well with me. Maybe I'm too much of a romantic, maybe I am being unrealistic but the fact that the boy suddenly realises he has power and then uses it to harm others bothers me. Yes, I know that they got him first and it was payback. I don't think that makes it right. For years I have wondered why I keep learning how to use violence to control or hurt people as a pastime. I came to the conclusion that I wish to know how to use violence to protect others rather than to have power over others or bully people. It's a big deal for me. 

I live in a pretty safe country and in an even safer community so I may never need to use this stuff but I do have one story to illustrate my point. 

A few years back I was training at the Hamilton dojo (the Yoshin Wadokan) with my fellow TSYR deshi. It was a freestyle training session. So we just had on gi pants and T-shirts, not our full keikogi and hakama. We had just got onto the mat when one of the women who turned up a little late said, "Did you see that couple out on the field?" Next to the dojo is a large green sports field. As we opened the doors to look out upon this field we could see a man standing over a woman who had obviously fallen to the ground. It was obvious that they were having an argument and it had got physical. My sensei immediately jogs towards the couple yelling "What do you think you are doing?" Right behind him are myself and two other deshi. Upon seeing us approach the man straightens up and steps away from the woman on the ground. His demeanour changes very quickly from aggression to appeasement as he sees he has been busted abusing his partner. The female deshi helps the woman up and starts to lead her away asking if she is alright and has she somewhere she can go? I stay and talk to the male, who is calling me sensei at this point (eye-rolling moment) he even offers me a can of Bourbon and cola that had fallen out of his back pocket during his scuffle with the woman. I decline. I can see that he has scars on his face from old scratch marks that he received, no doubt from the woman he was standing over. I suspect this couple have been in a culture of violence for a while. 

This man is probably a threat to nobody except his partner and looks to get as much as he gives. Eventually everyone is talked down and the man and woman move off in different directions. We go back to keiko. I'm pretty sure those two would be back together in no time and smacking each other around again. 

Here is an example where my dojo mates and I could use our power for the right reasons. We didn't need to rough-house the guy or threaten him but simply let him know that what he was doing was wrong and we wouldn't stand for it.

Good Jack or Bad Jack?

There are many instances both in and out of the dojo where power is used to abuse others. Ellis Amdur does a very good job of discussing this in Chapter 10 of his book, Dueling with O-sensei. It is a great read and I highly recommend it for any martial artist not just those practising Aikido. To quote Amdur, "The dojo is a laboratory in which we can embody some of the most horrifying potentials of humanity, with the aim of mastering and controlling them. It must, therefore, be a place of trust and honorable behaviour." Amdur acknowledges that we are learning how to be good at violence. In doing so we must surround ourselves with a culture of safety and care. This is very important to the mental state of all involved. 

When I was an enthusiastic 5th or 4th kyu in Aikido I bought into the harmonious and healing nature of Aikido. I thought Aikido could change people and bring peace to everyone's lives. The dojo could be a sanctuary for strays and the down-trodden. The problem with this thought, as good-intentioned as it was, is that when you bring people into a space, they bring their values and ideas with them. They are not hollow vessels waiting to be filled. So I was naive to think that people who may train once or twice a week with us would change radically from the person they were. Sure, there are instances where Aikido has helped people improve their lives, but they have to want to change and other factors are at play here as well, like good friends or agencies supporting them, not just the dojo. 

I remember one fellow that joined us at the dojo. He had obviously had a rough time in his life and although he tried to fit in at the dojo, some of his habits of distrust and anger were too ingrained that he compromised the safe,caring nature of the dojo. After he had been spoken to on many occasions about some of his behaviour he slowly disappeared and we never saw him again. Last I heard he was training at another Aikido dojo in town.

When I speak of learning to use power, I don't only mean physical power. The culture of a dojo can lend itself to abusing people psychologically and emotionally as well. We have all seen those movies where the young apprentice wants to learn the martial arts from the master. We then join the local dojo and think "teach me, sensei." at any cost. This requires a high level of trust and some people exploit that trust. Then there are the kids' classes. Those little people are put in your hands by their parents and they are trusting you to look after their sons and daughters and keep them safe in a potentially dangerous environment. The allure is strong here. As a teacher/instructor/sensei you have absolute power in that context.

The Budo Kensho (Budo Charter) released by the Nippon Budo Kyogikai (Japanese Budo Association) in 2009 states that through physical and mental training exponents seek to build their character, enhance their sense of judgement, and become disciplined individuals capable of making contributions to society at large. That is just article one. There are six articles that speak of things like teachers being role models, everyone showing respect and emphasis on more than just gaining technical skill. Lofty ideals but the document makes it clear what is expected of any budoka. The irony is I have seen these things exhibited better in my current koryu practice than in any gendai budo dojo I have stepped into.

The longer I train the more I see the mental/psychological aspects of my training becoming more important and that of the quality of a person's character. Some people just enjoy hurting others. I don't want to be the one that gives them more tools to do so. I find myself in a privileged position of teaching Aikido to children. I have a chance to influence how they view and use power in their lives as they grow. 

So these days, as I teach my own Aikido class and train in TSYR I am more comfortable with training with people that fit the mindset of the budo I practice rather than the other way around. Good people make good budoka. Lets give the power to those who already have the morals and values to wield it graciously, with honour and integrity.

Train safe!

Enter 2020.

This blog is about my experiences in both gendai and koryu budo. So looking ahead into 2020 I can see changes coming for both Aikido and TSYR. I have been teaching just two children Aikido over the past few years at my private dojo. However, through word-of-mouth I have been asked to take on a few more. This could move my numbers up to five students. To be honest, my small dojo could only handle a maximum of six children on the mat at once so five is good. I have never sought students but I enjoy passing my knowledge of Aikido onto others and will accept children that I think will make good students, I am a picky sensei. I don't apologise for that. My day job keeps me busy so if I am teaching after work I want to enjoy the experience as much as the kids I teach.

As some of you may already know, I have been awarded my Shoden teaching license. This means I can now teach people TSYR. I will be looking to teach in Auckland when I can to help that group increase their skill level. Of course, I will take on teaching responsibilities at the Hamlton Dojo when needed but to be honest that shouldn't be very often as I have a competent teacher there and another capable fellow deshi with a teaching license. 

I started the year as I always do, out in my dojo. This morning I worked on critiquing my batto, first by working on the omote forms and then performing the matching ura version of each kata. I am really enjoying the sword work at the moment. For years I always felt that the sword fought me and I would diligently work through the kata but felt frustrated at my lack of control. Of late, things seem to be clicking. I can make slight adjustments in my technique to get better at the kata and I am finding overlap in some movements which helps. I am enjoying the precision of the kata. 

I also hope to use the summer holidays to do some more renovations on the dojo, I have some work to do to finally tidy up the mat area and complete it properly. That should be possible over the next few weeks. 

So I am excited about what I may be able to achieve this year in my martial arts.

All the best for your own training!